


Breathe Me Back To Life

by serenehowell



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, F/M, Graphic Mentions of Blood, Homophobia, M/M, Vampire!Phil, Vampires, alternative universe, asshole relatives, lovely elderly ladies, will add more tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-14
Updated: 2016-05-26
Packaged: 2018-06-02 03:19:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6548527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serenehowell/pseuds/serenehowell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In 2012, Phil Lester was murdered on the streets of London. In 2016, he is found alive and not having aged a day. His boyfriend Dan Howell was shocked to say the least, but four years is a long time and people can change in many ways…</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Read on tumblr ([x](http://serenehowell.tumblr.com/post/142795368165/breathe-me-back-to-life-prologue))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read on tumblr ([x](http://serenehowell.tumblr.com/post/142795368165/breathe-me-back-to-life-prologue))

_2012_

_Phil: Just shutting up shop, should be home in about 20 mins x_

_Dan: ok, stay safe out there x_

_Phil: I have been out alone at night before you know…_

_Dan: well sorry for looking out for my boyfriend_

_Phil: You soppy git, love you x_

_Dan: love you too, spork x_

Phil chuckled quietly to himself as he read the responses from Dan. He often received paranoid texts from his boyfriend whenever he had to work late, but Phil couldn’t help finding that ever so endearing.

The moon illuminating the night sky was the only source of light left in Lester’s Bookshop as Phil locked up. He couldn’t help but admire how peaceful this area of London seemed during the later hours of the day. The street usually bustling with shoppers and city bankers was now deathly quiet. For some people, the eerie silence and dim alleyways would put them on edge, but Phil revelled in it.

He hummed a soft tune to himself as he listened to Muse through his headphones, ambling down the familiar road to the bus stop being completely lost in his own little world. The street lights did a poor job of revealing Phil’s surroundings; most of the buildings were shrouded in darkness. Few cars were present on the road with only with the exception of the odd night bus. 

Too distracted, he didn’t hear the clicking of high heels approaching behind him until a slender hand was resting on his shoulder. When he realised, he immediately ripped his headphones off and swung his body round to face the person. Before him was an attractive young woman, with flowing red locks that matched her bright lips and nails. The rest of her body was covered up in a head to toe black ensemble of skinny jeans, a tank top and a leather jacket. The lady smirked slightly as she saw Phil’s bemused expression and pulled him into an abandoned back street.

“I’m…not looking…for anything…thank you very much.” Phil gulped as he jumped to the conclusion that the red haired lady was a prostitute looking for her next client.

“Oh sweetie, I don’t offer any service,” The woman held a tight grip on Phil’s shoulder as she moved closer to him. “What’s your name?”

“Phil,” he stuttered, desperate to get away. “Could you please…let me go…then, I need to…catch my bus.” 

“Aren’t you just adorable, _Phil_ ,” She traced a sharp fingernail from the top of his jawline down to his neck, sending shivers down his spine,“So sweet and naïve.” The woman whispered seductively into Phil’s ear while grabbing his waist and pulling him even closer.

“Please let go of me!” Phil struggled in her grip, “I’m not interested! I have a boyfriend!”

She pulled back slightly and let out a harsh chuckle. “Oh honey, I don’t want to fuck you, I just want to do _this_.”

Without warning, sharp teeth pierced the skin of Phil’s neck. The shock of the situation clouded his mind, delaying his reaction. As soon as he tried to thrash out, it was too late. Too much of his blood had already been taken and his energy levels were rapidly falling. It wasn’t too long before he couldn’t hold himself up anymore and slumped to the floor.

“Oh, _Phil, Phil, Phil_ ,” The woman broke away for a moment, “You are just too cute so it would be such a shame for me to let you die.”

Phil was in too much of a painful daze to respond. His neck felt like it had been ripped open as blood trickled down his front. However, one clear thought was present in his mind.

Dan.

A tear fell down Phil’s face as the chances of seeing him again became slimmer and slimmer. He couldn’t bare to imagine how distraught he was going to be when he found out his boyfriend, the love of his life, was dead.

“You’re going to be one of the lucky ones, Phil, you get to live,” The woman was now straddling Phil, her hands resting on his shoulders, “You get to live for _eternity_ , doesn’t that sound like fun!” She let out a sadist laugh as the distress became clearer on Phil’s face.

“No…Dan…” Phil weakly attempted to lift himself up, but was hindered by the weight on top of him.

“Awww, is that the name of your precious boyfriend?” She cooed. “Well maybe we could pay him a little visit when this is all over.”

Phil opened his mouth to speak but was stopped by the fangs sinking back into his skin. He tried to fill his mind with happy memories of Dan to distract himself from the pain, but it was too overwhelming.

“Please, just let me…die,” The thought of having to live forever without Dan was unbearable, he would rather be dead.

“You don’t get to make the rules sweetie,” She brought her wrist to her mouth and pierced the skin,“Now, drink!”

Phil tried to object, but the metallic taste of blood was already sliding down his throat. He had no more power left in him to fight back.

In simple words, he gave up.

Before he blacked out, Phil managed to choke out five words.

_”I love you Dan Howell.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooo look at this, I'm writing a chaptered fic. How exciting! I'm a teeny bit scared as I don't have a definite plan yet for this, so the ending will be a surprise for you and me.
> 
> I'm hoping to update weekly, but I have exams coming up so that may not happen. We'll see.
> 
> Find me on tumblr [@serenehowell](serenehowell.tumblr.com)


	2. Reditus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read on tumblr ([x](http://serenehowell.tumblr.com/post/142901300070/breathe-me-back-to-life-chapter-2))

_2016_

A bitter wind blew through Manchester with grey clouds in the sky foreshadowing the oncoming rain. Small droplets started to descend; collecting in small puddles on the pavement. The light shower soon turned into a powerful downpour.

The weather was a reflection of Dan’s current mood. He had been dragged to his cousin’s wedding, even though he only saw her about twice a year. Instead, he would much rather be at his homely flat in London binging on a tv boxset, yet he was stuck in a cheap hotel in the middle of Manchester city centre. He was hoping to leave straight after the ceremony, but his mother insisted on staying for an extra few days to catch up with distant relatives.

Bored of being holed up in his crappy room without working wifi, Dan decided to explore the city, despite the awful weather. He shrugged on a black jacket, hoping to at least slightly shelter himself from the rain. 

He had no idea where he was going, but he just wanted to do anything to at least slightly excite him. The high street in Manchester was just like any other in Britain, filled with shops, cafes and restaurants. There was nothing too special about it, but Dan just needed to get out of that hotel.

The rain wasn't letting up and seemed to get heavier as soon as Dan went outside. He tightly tugged his hood over his head in a failed attempt to prevent it from going curly. He located an independent coffee shop on a small side road and decided to take shelter. 

It was a charming establishment, furnished with cosy sofas and vibrant paintings on the walls. Dan immediately inhaled the bittersweet aroma of coffee and freshly baked cakes. 

With a cappuccino in his hand, he found a table in the corner of the shop and settled himself in. He took advantage of the free wifi and relaxed into the comfortable armchair. As he found himself taking a stupid buzzfeed quiz on his phone, he spotted something out of the corner of his eye, his breathing hitching.

A flash of ebony hair.

_It’s not him, he’s dead Dan._

Dan's grip on his phone became tighter as he tried to pull himself out of his thoughts. Ever since…

_Ever since Phil was murdered._

Any person with the same blue eyes or Northern twang or breathless chuckle, Dan would instantly think it was him. He blamed it down to the grief, but it was almost driving him insane. Wherever he went, there were always reminders of Phil, he just couldn't move on. He thought that after four years he would at least have some closure, yet he still felt like he was stuck in the past. 

Dan could only focus on the man with the black hair sitting in front of him, his mind going into meltdown. It was almost identical, with what he could tell from behind. It had the same luscious silkiness that he used to love to running his fingers through…

“Get a fucking grip,” Dan muttered under his breath, trying to bring himself back down to reality.

He wanted to see the man’s face, just so he could put his mind at rest. Before Dan got a chance to, the man was gone.

~ 

Dan’s mood worsened further when he found out he was being forced to attend a family dinner. He tried every excuse under the sun to try and get out of it, but his mother just would not budge.

“Do I really have to go? There is literally no need for me to be there.” Dan had pleaded, sounding slightly like a bratty child.

“No Dan, you’re going,” His mother sighed, keeping her eyes focused on her magazine as they sat in the hotel lobby, “Uncle Robert and Aunt Paula will be there and they really want you to be there because they haven't seen you for years.”

“Well there's a reason for that…” Dan mumbled.

His Uncle Robert was one of the most conservative people he knew, with a deep opposition of LGBT rights. He had always disapproved of Dan and Phil’s relationship which was why Dan avoided him for so long. After Phil’s death, he even dared to say that it was unsurprising and probably a punishment for being gay. Because of that, Dan had vowed to himself to never see Robert again.

"I know what he said wasn't fair honey,” She held Dan’s hand and rubbed the back of it with her thumb, “But Paula is my sister and we really should see her, it’s been too long.”

Dan knew how much his Aunt meant to his mother, so reluctantly agreed to go. However, he still found it highly unfair that he was the only one forced up to Manchester. Both his dad and brother managed to find excuses to stay at home, but Dan could somehow not escape. It was unsurprising though, as they didn’t get along well with relatives as much as Dan didn’t.

~

Gentle jazz music drifted through the slightly-more-fancy-than-your-average-Zizzi’s restaurant as Dan finished his second glass of wine. So far, Uncle Robert had made two homophobic and one borderline racist comments. Each time Paula visibly cringed, obviously embarrassed about her husband’s behaviour. 

Dan never understood why a lovely and gentle woman like Paula, settled with an arrogant and idiotic man like Robert. He was hardly a looker either, with a rapidly receding hairline and a noticeable beer belly. He always thought she could do so much better

The evening was progressing slowly, so Dan formed for surviving the dinner.

Get absolutely hammered.

Dan made sure that his glass was constantly topped up with alcohol and he could sense the worried expression on his mother’s face, she understood that he was drinking purely to get through the meal.

“So Daniel,” Robert started once he finished chewing a piece of lamb, “Got a girlfriend yet? You’re a good looking lad, you should be able to snap one up in no time.” He chuckled heartily, causing the fat under his chin to bobble up and down.

The subject of relationships was a touchy one for Dan, one he preferred not to talk about, especially not with Uncle Robert.

“No, I do not have a girlfriend _or_ boyfriend, and I’m not planning to any time soon.” Dan sternly stated, clutching his wine glass in his hand.

“Still hung up over that Phil guy? You do know he’s dead right!” He let out that chuckle again, not realising how much he had hurt Dan. He came to the conclusion ages ago that Robert has no filter, he simply says whatever is on is mind, no matter how offensive it is. The rest of the table tensed, knowing how inappropriate that comment was. 

“ _Of course I fucking know he’s dead_ , you stupid twat.” Dan gritted through his teeth, anger starting to boil inside him. “You never understood the shit I went through! The love of my life was found murdered in the street, and yet you still had the fucking _audacity_ to insult the both of us.” His mother kept trying to interrupt, but Dan was having none of it. Uncle Robert only stared blankly, unsure how to take in the situation.

“You know what,” Dan started to stand up, pointing his finger accusingly. “You have to be the lowest of the low to say the things you did to me. You’re a complete scumbag who doesn’t deserve to be alive while Phil had his life taken away from him!”

Before he could see the horrified expressions of his family, Dan turned his back and headed straight for the exit. He was so _infuriated_ at what Uncle Robert dared to say to him, that he just had to leave as quickly as he could. The alcohol was defiantly a contributing factor to his outburst; he never would have said those words sober.

The harsh breeze was welcomed by Dan as it helped him to calm down and clear his thoughts. His mind was still mildly foggy from how much wine he drunk and stumbled his way down a back alleyway.

As a rule, he generally didn’t walk down alleyways alone after what happened, but he was too tipsy to release where he was going.

Dan started to come to his senses and acknowledged that he should probably apologise to his mother and Aunt Paula. He knew mother would try and make him apologise to Uncle Robert, but Dan refused to do that.

The sound of faint footsteps started to approach Dan, too quiet for him to notice, from behind as he released he had entered a dead end,. The noises got louder and louder as the person got closer and closer. Dan’s ears finally picked them up, but when they did, it was too late. 

A cold hand was clasped over his mouth to stop him from screaming with a slender arm wrapped around his torso to stop him from escaping. Dan tried wriggling free from the attacker, but it was futile. 

“Now,” A sinister voice menacingly whispered, “We can do this the easy way where you stay quiet and don’t run away, or we can do it the hard way, where I cause as much pain as I can to you in your dying moments.” He growled, causing Dan to whimper.

Before Dan could think, he was pushed against a wall, his wrists pinned above his head. Fear and panic coursed through his veins as he processed the words.

_Pain._

_Dying_.

His breathing became more erratic as understood that he was about to be murdered, just like Phil was. The figure sadistically laughed at Dan, obviously enjoying the terror he was inflicting. 

Even though his mind being sent into overdrive, Dan still managed to feel a sense of familiarity in the voice of the attacker. It was too dark to see his appearance, but something so _recognisable_ about his voice set Dan on edge.

He froze and his breath caught in his throat. He knew that voice, he heard it so many times.

No.

No.

_No._

There was no way. His mind was just playing tricks on him in a moment of hysteria, so Dan tried to ignore the strange feeling.

The impact of the situation hit him all at once. 

He was going to die.

Tears streamed down his face as he came to terms with his fate. He would never see his mother again, never listen to his favourite music again, never go home again.

The only thing that kept him from completely falling apart was the thought of Phil. Dan wasn’t religious and didn’t believe in God, but there was still a slight chance that they would be reunited. If not, at least Dan would’t have to suffer without him anymore.

“Please, make it quick,” Dan’s whisper was barely audible; a sign of defeat.

“No…” The dominant tone was dropped, revealing a softer and much more caring voice. The attacker let go of his hands, slowly backing away.

Dan’s mind raced a hundred mind a minute, too overwhelmed to be able to comprehend what was happening. The light from a passing car lit up the alleyway, only for a moment, but that was long enough.

He saw everything. The black hair, the piercing blue eyes, the broad shoulders, the slightly slouched stance.

No, it can’t be him, it’s just a hallucination. 

The man collapsed to his knees, apparently in the same state of shock. Dan wanted to run away, pretend it wasn’t real, but his astonishment kept his body stuck against the wall.

Dan was the first to speak up, to break the unbearable silence with one simple word.

“Phil?”

“Dan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OoOOoooO, what's gonna happen next? Idk actually I haven't written the next chapter yet.
> 
> I'm planning on updating on Thursdays but I thought I would publish a cheeky chapter because the other one was so short. My exams start in about a month so I may not be able to stick to the schedule but I will try my best to not leave massive gaps, fingers crossed.
> 
> The title of each chapter will be in Latin and will have relevance to the plot of that chapter. There's literally no point in that, but it makes me look smart and mysterious. Maybe you could try guessing what the word means and it could be a lil game (no using google translate!). If you guess this title, you win a scone because I made some today.
> 
> Find me on tumblr [@serenehowell](serenehowell.tumblr.com) (I'm likely to give updates if a chapter is going to be published late on tumblr)
> 
> P.S Did anyone notice my little reference to Dan's new video with Louise? If you did, you win another scone.
> 
> P.S.S This is the longest author's note ever.


	3. Verūm

It felt as if all of the air had left Dan’s lungs. Utter shock and confusion left him unable to breath. The whole situation was too absurd to be real, he refused to believe it.

“No! It’s not you! You are not my Phil!” Dan screamed out, his hands clenched in tight fists. “HE’S DEAD! HE DIED FOUR YEARS AGO YOU AREN’T HIM!” Every emotion overwhelmed Dan, tears streaming down his face.

“Dan, please, listen…” Phil pleaded with his own sobs escaping.

“I know what this is! It’s some sick joke!” Sorrow turned to anger as Dan jumped to conclusions. “It was Robert, wasn’t it! He set this up to freak me out. Well it certainly worked, that fucker is dead!”

Phil grabbed Dan’s wrist desperate to get his attention. “It’s me, Dan, it’s me!” Was all Phil was able to choke out. “You know it is but you don’t want to believe it.” 

Dan struggled for a little while in his tight grip, eventually shrugging Phil off.

“Get off me! Phil Lester is dead and there is nothing I can do about it!”

Slumping against a wall, Dan broke down, grief wracking his body. His head was buried in his hands, the heartache becoming unbearable. 

Phil joined Dan on the floor, his own tears drying on his face. “I’m…so sorry Dan, for what I put you through, but it was for the best!”

Dan lifted his head to stare at Phil, rage coursing through him. “What I went through… was for the best? I refused to leave the flat for six months and didn’t stop crying myself to sleep for a year! How was that for the _fucking_ best!”

“I’m sorry, but I had no other choice!” Phil threw his arms up in exasperation, trying to get through to Dan.

“I still don’t believe you’re him! Prove it to me.”

“How?”

“I don’t know, the day we first met?”

“Easy, 19th October 2009, like I could ever forget, it was the best day of my life.” Phil spoke fondly when he thought about that day, meeting Dan brought so much joy to his life.

“Anyone could have known that, something a bit harder, the nickname you always called me.” Dan desperately wanted him to be wrong, for it to not be Phil.

“Bear, my beautiful bear.”

He kept firing questions about all aspects of their relationship, from the first time they had sex to when they moved in together.

“It’s you,” Dan muttered, his voice barely audible, giving up on proving that it wasn’t him. He knew it was Phil, his Phil But, he still couldn’t look at him after the four years of hell he had been through. “How? I saw your fucking coffin being lowered into the ground!”

“The coffin was empty, there wasn’t a body in there…” Phil trailed off, almost ashamed at what he did.

“That’s why the police didn’t let me see your body! I begged for hours to see you one last time, but they gave me some bullshit excuse that I would be too distressed about seeing your injuries!” Dan winced at the memory. He so desperately wanted to see Phil for one last time, it felt like his heart had been ripped out when he was refused.

“I wish it hadn’t had to come down to this, but there was nothing I could do.”

“You keep saying that…” Dan swallowed. “Why exactly…did you do it?” He hesitated, almost too scared to hear the answer.

Phil ran a hand through his hair, completely stuck at how he was going to break the news to Dan.

“You’re not going to believe me at first, but you have to trust me, ok?” Phil gulped, the nerves pooling in his stomach. “I’m…fuck…I’m _a fucking vampire_ , an immortal, blood sucking creature of the night.”

“Vampires aren’t real you ass!” Dan was almost angry at how Phil _still_ decided to lie after everything that had happened. “ _Give me the fucking truth_ ,” He snarled through gritted teeth.

"It is the truth Dan! Please…please believe me.” Phil’s eyes bore directly into Dan’s, the desperation clear. Dan couldn't help but notice the difference in them after all the time he used to spend staring at them, they used to be so bright and full of life, but now they were blank and soulless. He turned his head away, unable to bare the death so clear in them.

“I’m meant to go back to London tomorrow…” Dan spoke after a minute of silence, still focusing on a wall on front of him. 

Dejection hit Phil as after being away from Dan for so long, they would only be reunited for such a short period of time.

"But I'm going to stay for a bit, I need to sort this fucking mess out.” Dan pushed himself off the ground, still unable to look at Phil. “Do you still have my number?”

“Yeah.” Hope rose within Phil, maybe everything could work out with Dan.

“Of course,” He deadpanned, hardly surprised. “Just text me your address and a time to meet me tomorrow, we seriously need to talk things through.” Although he seemed much calmer, Dan was still internally reeling at Phil. But, he was trying to hold things together, for Phil’s sake.

“Thank you Dan,” Phil said gratefully, relieved that Dan actually wanted to meet again. “Even after all these years, you should know I never stopped loving you.

Before he could respond, Dan had already started to walk away so Phil wouldn't see the tears rolling down his cheeks. He was trying to appear distant and stoic, but only to hide how much he was hurting inside.

~

When Dan finally returned to the hotel later that evening, his mother was already waiting for him in the lobby. She pulled him into a comforting embrace as soon as she saw his blotchy face and sorrow expression.

“It’s ok, it’s ok,” She repeated in a soothing tone as soon as Dan started crying into her shoulder. The hug was rather awkward considering Dan was almost a foot taller than his mother, but it was what he needed, mother’s love.

“Phil, oh my God, Phil.” Dan rambled, his mother assuming that he was breaking down over grief.

His mother was the first to brake away, but still held onto Dan’s arms. “What you said was completely unacceptable,” Dan looked down at the floor in shame, “But Robert is a complete and utter bastard who deserved every word you said.” He couldn’t help but smile at that statement, glad that his mother was on his side, even if she didn’t know the truth of the situation.

~

The next morning, Dan gave some half-assed reason for why he was staying in Manchester, much to the confusion of his mother.

After dropping her off at the station, Dan headed straight to the address Phil gave him the night before. For some reason, he felt some apprehension about their meeting. It was still Phil, the man he fell in love with six years ago, but things were so different now and he couldn’t help having nerves

The taxi ride to the edge of Manchester felt too short and he had soon arrived at Phil’s apartment block. It was a tall, intimidating building with 23 floors, with Phil conveniently living on the 21st floor. Dan just hoped that the lift was working.

Once he had climbed 21 flights of stairs with the taste of blood now in his mouth, Dan found himself standing outside Phil’s apartment, his hand ready to knock on the door. He hesitated for a moment, wondering if he should do this. But, he needed answers and this was the only way. Taking a deep breath, he lightly tapped on the door. Phil immediately greeted him with a welcoming smile, but that soon disappeared when he saw Dan’s solemn expression.

In the light of day, Dan could get a better view of Phil’s appearance. His skin had always been on the fair side. But now it was so deathly white, Dan thought he would be able to look right through him. More muscle had built up around his chest and arms, which Dan found hard to not find attractive. The most dramatic change was the sharp fangs that were on full show when Phil smiled. Apart from that, it looked like he hadn't aged a day since 2012.

“Erm, do you want to come in?” Phil scratched the back of his head, obviously just as nervous as Dan.

Dan nodded and was led inside. The apartment was reasonably sized, with two bedrooms and a decent living room and kitchen.

“Do you want a drink or something?” Phil asked as Dan sat down, his tense posture showing how uncomfortable he felt. Dan couldn't understand why there was so much awkwardness was present in the air, it was just Phil.

Phil who he had been with for two years.

Phil who he had planned his future with.

Phil who lied about his death for four years.

“No thanks,” Dan muttered, twiddling his thumbs. Phil joined him on the opposite sofa and they fell into an awkward silence. Neither of the men knew where to start, the whole situation was a bit of a shock.

“Look, Dan, I’m sorry…” Phil started, before being interrupted by Dan.

“For fuck’s sake Phil! Is that you’re gonna say to me? After everything you have done, you can only say _sorry_?” 

“What else can I say?” Phil’s voice slowly started to rise.

“Well I don't know, maybe talk about the fact you're a _fucking vampire_ I’m the one being unreasonable, Mr ‘I pretended to be dead for four fucking years’!” Dan sarcastically retorted.

The fighting ceased momentarily when a key was heard unlocking the door. A red headed female appeared, dressed in work-out clothes and headed straight to the fridge.

“Phil, we’re out of bags!” She groaned from the kitchen, having not noticed the visitor .“ We need to get some…” She wandered into the living room and stopped in her tracks when she saw Dan. Her eyes widened when they lay onto him.

“Amanda…” Phil saw the shock on the woman’s face.

“Shit… it’s him, isn't it!” Amanda gasped, pointing at Dan. “ Do you know how dangerous this is? You’re a fucking idiot Phil!” 

“Amanda!” Phil harshly called out. “This isn't the time!”

“Fine, but I’m not afraid to repeat what happened to Elijah!” Amanda threatened, storming off into one of the bedrooms.

Dan turned to Phil, now in an even more confused state. “Who was that woman Phil? And who’s Elijah?”

Phil took a deep breath. “That’s Amanda, she’s my creator.”

“Creator?’ 

“She’s the one who turned me into a vampire.”

Dan couldn't help but feel some resentment against the woman as it _was_ her who put him through all this misery.

“So, what did actually happen that night?” Dan questioned, unsure if he wanted to hear the answer.

“Well…” Phil gulped, the idea of having to relive the worst night of his life terrifying him. “I was just walking to the bus stop, when Amanda approached me. I thought she was just a prostitute and tried to ignore her, but she wouldn't go away.” A tear appeared in the corner of his eye at the memory. “And then all of a sudden, her teeth were in my neck and I was on the ground.” Phil started to choke up, wiping the tears away from his face. “I was so scared, Dan, so scared. All I could think about was you and…and…never seeing you again. 

The sobs that Dan had been trying to hold in were released before Phil finished speaking. He wanted so badly to hate him, and blame him for everything he did, but he couldn't anymore. He had loved Phil so dearly, and Dan came to release that some things just didn't change.

Shifting over, Dan pulled Phil into a tight hug, never wanting to let go again. Phil buried his head into Dan’s shoulder, relaxing in his embrace. The previous awkwardness had disappeared, leaving the pair feeling natural in each other’s presence.

The act felt so familiar, it made everything feel like it was back to normal again. But, Dan found it impossible to ignore the nagging in the back of his head, reminding him that this shouldn't be happening. Phil shouldn't be wrapped up in his arms, he should be buried in a cemetery in London. 

“Phil, I’m sorry…” It was Dan’s turn to apologise, he suddenly felt incredibly guilty about the way he treated Phil. He ran his hand through the silky, black locks, releasing how much he missed doing that.

“No, Dan, I understand…” Phil mumbled into Dan’s shoulder.

“I was scared and confused and angry and I just couldn't control my grief. I missed you so much and I never want to leave you again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow it literally felt like I was re-writting The Urge (what a literary masterpiece) in this chapter
> 
> ALSO I'M VERY EXCITED TO FURTHER EXPLORE AMANDA BECAUSE I HAVE ACTUALLY DONE SOME PLANNING AND I'VE GOT SOME GOOD SHIT PLANNED.
> 
> But yeah, I have the whole plot sorted out and I can't wait to get to the juicy bits.
> 
> So, see you next Thursday (maybe) (hopefully)
> 
> Find me on tumblr [@serenehowell](serenehowell.tumblr.com)


	4. Monēre

Dan awoke to a slight pounding in his head, groaning as he slowly started to open his eyes. He was stuck in the shitty Manchester hotel for even longer than originally planned, something he was not too pleased about. After their meeting, Phil had offered to let Dan crash at his apartment, but Amanda refused to let him stay for any longer than necessary.

Rolling out of the painfully uncomfortable bed, Dan dragged himself to the bathroom to freshen up. He couldn’t help but stare at himself in the mirror, noticing how the stress of the situation was starting to take it’s toll physically. Dark circles were now even more prominent under his eyed. His usually slightly tanned skin seemed to have turned many shades lighter. The harsh lights of the bathroom just seemingly amplified Dan’s state of deterioration.

He had decided that he needed at least another day with Phil to catch up, after that however, was a mystery to Dan. He didn’t know how he would move on. Would he leave Phil and forget about him? Or would he return and be a part of his life again? He was conflicted to say the least, but was trying to put off answering the inevitable questions.

~

“I don’t know where to start really…” Dan trailed off as he sat on the sofa opposite Phil. “What do you want to know?”

The awkwardness had definitely started to ease between the pair, but there was still a certain amount of tension in the air.

“My parents, how are they? I’ve missed them so much…” Phil asked, shifting in his seat slightly.

“Pretty shit considering they think their son is dead.” Dan deadpanned, immediately regretting the comment when he saw the hurt expression on Phil’s face, “Sorry,” He softly added, apologetically.

“No it’s alright, what I did was pretty shit if I’m quite honest,” Phil muttered, pulling at a lose thread on his t-shirt.

Dan scooted over and placed a comforting arm around Phil’s shoulder. “If I’m honest, your mum took it the worse. She was in a bad place for a good few years, she turned to alcohol to cope.”

A wave of guilt hit Phil. He had never before released the full impact of his actions and knowing his mum became an _alcoholic_ made him feel ten times worse.

“But she got over it, she hasn't had a drink in almost a year. She decided she needed to get her life sorted when she became a grandmother.”

Phil’s eyes widened at the comment. “Grandmother? Martyn had a child?”

Dan nodded, a small grin creeping into his face. “You’re an uncle Phil to a beautiful nephew, Harry.” He reached into his pocket, pulled out his phone and brought up his camera roll. “This was taken last month at his first birthday party.” In the middle of the photo was a small child being held in his mother’s arms. He had unruly tuffs of ginger hair, bright green eyes and a huge smile plastered onto his face.

Everyone in the picture looked truly happy, none of the smiles were fake. Despite all of the tragedy they had all faced, they had still managed to live their lives, something Phil was afraid wouldn't happen.

“So you’re still close with my family then?”

“Yeah, they’ve practically adopted me.” Phil couldn't help but chuckle fondly at the comment. “I’m like another son to your parents.”

“I always knew you would become a Lester.” Hesitantly, Phil reached over and intertwined his hand with Dan’s. The younger was momentarily shocked by the contact, but quickly relaxed into the grip.

The two stayed like that for a moment, both reflecting on everything that had happened between them. 

"What are we Phil?" Dan whispered, barely audible, keeping his eyes down. “Could you honestly say we’re still together?”

Phil shook his head and replied just as quietly, “No, not after all this time, too much has changed.”

"Well you’ve literally changed,” Dan couldn't help but sarcastically comment, with Phil giggling slightly. “But we can still be friends right?”

“Yeah, friends, I like that.”

~

The rest of the day was spent lazily catching up in Phil’s apartment with breaks for Mario Kart tournaments.

“But Rainbow Road is the hardest course!” Phil whined when he was inevitably beaten by Dan for the fifth consecutive round. “I want a rematch, with all or nothing!”

“Nope, I won the best of five square and fair!” Dan threw the controller to the side as a sign that he was not going to listen to Phil’s demand. “I’m not doing your bloody all or nothing, I’ve learnt from my mistakes of agreeing to that.”

“Just because you’re scared you’re gonna lose to me…” Dan grabbed the nearest cushion and threw it at Phil’s face in response. “Hey!” He threw the cushion back in retaliation, hitting Dan in the chest.

“Oh you’re on Lester!”

Soft furnishings were soon being launched through the air, landing in random places across the living room. The battle ended with both Dan and Phil collapsed on the floor, both slightly out of breath and in fits of laughter.

“What the fuck happened in here!” An irritated voice called out, causing the men to immediately perk up. Amanda stood with her hands resting on her hips, looming over both of them. “Seriously, are you five years old? And why are you still here.” She pointed accusingly at Dan.

“We got…distracted.” Phil tried to think of an excuse, knowing Amanda was pissed. 

“And that means wreaking the flat? For God’s sake Phil will you grow up!” She chastised.

“I think you’re over reacting a bit Amanda!” Phil pulled himself onto the sofa behind him, taking Dan up as well.

“I’m sorry,” She slumped down opposite the boys, “It’s just been a…stressful day.”

“What happened?” Phil inquired, a worried expression on his face.

“I got some news from one of my contacts, you’re not gonna like this…Elijah is back in the country.” 

“Shit,” Phil swore, leaning forwards and placing his face into his hands. “Are you sure, I thought we lost him in America?” He looked back up at Amanda, hoping the news was wrong.

“Positive, there was a sighting of him in Brighton.” She anxiously chewed on her lip.

“Fuck, what if he finds us again Mandy!” Phil exasperated, throwing his arms into the air.

“Hello! Are you going to tell me who this fucking Elijah is!” Dan interrupted, frustrated of being ignored.

“Listen carefully Dan, Elijah is a dangerous and ruthless man, he’s not afraid of doing anything to get what he wants.” Amanda spoke slowly, choosing her words carefully. “The whole situation started when I met him in the 40s. He was an American Pilot who was based in England during the war. A real charmer he was, all of the ladies would be swooning over him. Even with all that attention, there was still only one woman for him, Maria. He worshipped the ground she walked on, he was madly in love. They had decided to get married once the war was over and settle down, but I then I had to go and fuck it all up,” She growled through gritted teeth.

“It was the 8th May 1945, V-Day. Everyone was drinking and celebrating to the fact of just being _alive_ , and then there was me, bitter and dead. I saw Elijah late that night, completely drunk and alone, so I took my chance and attacked. He tried to put up a fight, but the alcohol made him sloppy, it was over quickly.”

Amanda paused for a moment, taking a deep breath. “Once I turned him, I told him that he couldn't have anymore contact with Maria and boy was he pissed. But the fucking idiot didn’t listen to my advice and had secret meetings with her behind my back. I warned him over and over about the risks and how we could possibly _get killed_ if she ratted on us, as vampire hunters became surprising active after the war.”

“There’s…vampire hunters?” Dan gasped.

“That’s not the fucking point Dan, just listen!” She burst out, annoyed by Dan’s interruption. “Anyways, I decided I needed to pay her a little visit. Things got out of hand and I…” She paused and gulped. “Killed her. I killed the fucking bitch.” Anger over the situation started to bubble inside of Amanda. “And do you want to know why, because I’m a vampire, a fucking monster and that’s who I’am!” She was now almost shouting, the emotions overwhelming her.

Calming down a small amount, Amanda continued her story.“Elijah went batshit crazy, even trying to push a stake through my heart. I got away, barely, and ever since then, he’s been on some sort of mission to get his revenge, assembling some sort of crew to help him. For 70 years, he’s relentlessly been trying to hunt me down and I even managed to drag Phil into his fucking mess.”

The were now tears in Amanda’s eyes, mainly out of fury. She had let herself be tormented by the same man for decades, even pulling other people down with her, and that was _soul destroyingvery_ angry vampire.”

Dan nodded, “I understand, but what you said to me last night, _were you threatening to me kill me_ “Yes,” Dan’s jaw dropped slightly. “There was no malice behind it, but there is a reason why I’ve managed to avoid vampire hunters for 157 years, and that is sticking to your own kind.”

“You’ve were turned 157 years ago?” Dan inquired, shocked at the revelation of how old Amanda was.

“157 years, 7 months and 10 days ago.” She recited effortlessly off the top of her head.

"You keep track of the days, but doesn't that drive you insane?”

“No, it’s the only thing keeping me sane.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back, back again, Phoebe's back.
> 
> I'm so sorry for the huge delay with this chapter, but I've been revising and I lost all my motivation and I got writers block, just the usual. This isn't going to be updated weekly (sorry!) because I just can't commit to that at the moment.
> 
> I don't know how I feel about this chapter really, it was just a bit of an info dump and too much dialogue ughhhh (and its barely edited).
> 
> Find me on tumblr [@serenehowell](serenehowell.tumblr.com)


	5. Cōgitāre

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read on tumblr ([x](http://serenehowell.tumblr.com/post/144470149295/breathe-me-back-to-life-chapter-5))

Rain trickled down the window that Dan was reflectively staring out of. It had been just over a week since Phil’s appearance and consequent return to Dan’s life. Despite his initial anger and confusion, he couldn't deny the sense of joy he felt with Phil being back again. After so long without him, so long being alone, finally having him by his side again gave Dan a strange feeling of comfort.

But things had changed.

Yes, his Phil was back, but it was a different Phil. Phil who was now a bloodsucking creature who may had even killed people for all Dan knew. The dynamics were new between them as no matter how hard he tried, he had to acknowledge how things could never go back to how they used to be.

Yet a small part of him had hope, that one day things could go back to normal, that he could be happy again. It would be almost impossible, but there was just one plain and simple solution that stuck out in Dan’s mind, and he just could not shake the thought.

~

“I need to go back to London soon,” Dan reluctantly admitted in the middle of watching a crappy romcom in Phil’s apartment.

Phil could only respond with an “Oh,” the disappointment clear in his tone. It was inevitable, Dan had to leave Manchester at some point, but Phil kept trying to put the idea off.

“I need to get back to the bookshop, the staff are holding up the fort pretty well but they need me back…”

“The bookshop? My bookshop? You work there?” A huge grin grew on Phil’s face, his fangs visible. Lester’s bookshop was Phil’s pride and joy. Starting a business aged 20 was never going to be an easy task, especially in London, but he still managed to pull it off. Even with its less than original name, Phil devoted his life to the place.

“Yeah, I own it actually,” Dan couldn't help the pleasure he felt when he saw how happy Phil was at the mention of his precious shop, “Your parents wanted to sell it, but I knew how much it meant to you and I couldn't bare to let it go, it was like holding on to a part of you.” 

“Soppy git,” Phil muttered under his breath.

“Hey!” Dan threw a handful of salty popcorn at Phil’s face in retaliation.

“But in all seriousness,” Phil quickly changed to a more somber topic, “When are you going back?”

“I don't know…” Dan whispered, hoping that if he said it quiet enough, it wouldn't be true. “I haven't really thought about our future.” The use of the word ‘our’ was all too noticeable, a signal that Dan wanted it to be spent together.

“But whats gonna happen to us Dan?” Phil turned his body, now directly facing the younger and the cheesy love story on the screen long forgotten. “We keep trying to ignore it, but we need to talk about it.”

“He’s not staying,” A female voice interjected out of nowhere, startling the pair. Amanda appeared from her bedroom and placed herself on the sofa opposite Dan and Phil, not caring that she was interrupting their conversation.

“Jesus Christ Amanda! Don't seek up like that!” Phil chastised after nearly jumping off the sofa in shock.

“Sorry!” She sarcastically replied, holding her hands up in the air in mock surrender, “But Dan has to go, and soon.”

“We need more time Mandy to sort out what the fuck is going on,” Phil firmly stated, getting irritated by the woman’s constant nagging.

“Need I remind you Phil that an extremely pissed vampire is after our asses and will not hesitate to kill anyone in his way, including Dan, who is merely a weak human in comparison!”

“Of course I haven't forgotten!” At this point, Phil was just getting more and more annoyed by Amanda’s comments. “You just need to let me figure things out…”

“You could turn me,” Dan nonchalantly added, causing both Phil and Amanda to gawp at him in shock. 

“No, Dan…you can’t…” Phil’s eyes had comically widened and had a feeling of all air leaving his lungs. “Have you even thought about this for one _second_! This isn’t some easy solution, I really don’t think you understand the consequences of this!” The mere thought of turning Dan was absurd. The last four years of Phil’s life had been hell and he would never want to wish that on Dan.

“But it is Phil! I would be stronger and we won’t have to separate again!” Dan desperately pleaded, trying to convince Phil.

"He's got a point…" Amanda muttered, agreeing with Dan’s idea and leaving Phil almost feeling betrayed. 

“No! This is ridiculous! I don't know why you are even _considering_ this!”

“But if you think about it though…”

“I don't think _you’re_ thinking about it Mandy!” He interrupted, raging too much to care. “Dan is not turning and that’s final!”

“For fuck’s sake Phil!” Dan was on the brink of shouting, at the same level of anger as Phil. “You don't get to decide what I get to do! If you haven't realised I managed to survive four years making my own choices!”

The tension in the room was now unbearable. Just for a moment, they looked directly at each other in the eye, sensing a mutual feeling of exasperation. Both were set on their opinions on the matter and didn't want to resort to a compromise.

After a short period of silence, Phil had some time to calm down and rationalise his thoughts. “If this is what you want, then so be it,” He gulped, shocked at himself for allowing this to happen. “But I beg you, _please_ , wait for a little longer, you don't understand how fucked up your life is gonna be afterwards.” 

“Fine,” Dan begrudgingly agreed, his arms crossed over his chest to show his reluctance. “I know I won't change my mind, but I will wait if it makes you happy.”

“And I have one other condition, only I can change you, understand?”

“Whatever, it's not like its gonna make a difference anyway…”

"Thank you, I don't want this to happen, but I know I can't do anything to stop you, always a stubborn one you were.” A small grin appeared on Phil’s face, even though he still wasn't completely comfortable with the situation.

“Well it seems like no matter how hard you try, you just can't get rid of me!”

~

“Phillll…” Dan called out the next day, rummaging through Phil’s kitchen cupboards, trying to find food of any sort. “I’m hungry and you literally have _no_ food.”

“Well that’s what happens when you're a vampire, you don't eat,” Phil causally replied while flicking through the tv channels.

“Could you go the shops for me and get me some food?” Dan poked his head out of the kitchen and gave his best puppy eyes.

“Seriously? Are you that lazy?”

“Yep! Pretty please, I’m staaarving!” Dan pouted.

“Fine, only because I don't think I can deal with you whinging at me all day.”

~

Phil reluctantly made his way down to the Tesco’s round the corner, slightly annoyed at being forced outside.  
“Shit,” Phil swore as he reached his hand into his pocket and realised he had left his wallet at home.

He found himself making his way back to his apartment block only a few minutes after leaving, silently cursing Dan for being so lazy and making him do so much exercise.

Placing his key in the lock, he tried opening the door only to find that it wasn't budging. He turned the key multiple times, but still to no success, even giving the door a few shoves.

“Dan, Dan the door isn't opening.” Phil shouted, still unable to gain access. 

No response.

Giving it few more pushes with his shoulder, Phil realised that something was blocking it.

“Shit, Dan whats going on in there!” He became more desperate, thinking that Dan was in trouble. Muffled whimpers became more audible. “Dan!”

With a run up, Phil launched his whole body at the door, eventually displacing it from its hinges. Rushing into the apartment, he rubbed his sore shoulder and immediately scanned the place for any sight of Dan.

His eyes lay on something he didn't want to see, leaving him frozen on the spot.

“No! Dan!”

On the sofa was a limp Dan being straddled by Amanda, her fangs deep into his neck.

“Phil…” Dan weakly mumbled out as soon as they locked eyes, the energy rapidly draining from his body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we meet again friends and I actually managed to upload weekly?? Its not gonna stay like this lol.
> 
> And I'm not sorry about that cliffhanger, a writer has gotta create tension! I'm trying to advance the plot a bit but I sense some filler chapters coming up though just because.
> 
> I swear I always pick really shit times to update…
> 
> Find me on tumblr [@serenehowell](serenehowell.tumblr.com)


	6. Prōdere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read on tumblr ([x](http://serenehowell.tumblr.com/post/145568873185/breathe-me-back-to-life-chapter-6))

“Fuck…” Was the first thing that Dan murmured as soon as regained consciousness and found himself in bed. His whole body was in agony, even opening his eyes was a struggle. Once he was semi awake, the first thing he noticed was a _very_ pissed Phil standing at the end of the bed, his jaw clenched and arms crossed.

“Did it…” Lacking so much in energy, he found it hard to speak. “Am I…”

Phil filled in the blanks of the sentences that Dan was finding so difficult to say. “Did it work? No,” He sneered, almost sarcastically. “Are you a vampire? No.”

“Look, I’m…” Every word that left Dan’s mouth somehow managed to drain him even more.

“You betrayed my trust!” Phil interrupted, ignoring Dan’s weak condition. “I said to give it time, less than 24 hours is not enough, did you lose your fucking mind!”

A frosty atmosphere settled in Phil’s bedroom, the tension could have been cut with a knife. The elder moved towards Dan with a certain amount of menace in his steps and crouched down beside him.

“You could have died!” He spat out.

“Well that was the whole point…” Even in his ill state, Dan was still able to make sarcastic comments.

“I don’t think you release how much you’ve fucked up here Dan…”

“Please! Stop shouting, my head is killing me.” Dan groaned out as everything Phil said seemed to be amplified. “Can we continue this _riveting_ conversation later.”

“Fine, just because every drop of blood was nearly sucked out of your body doesn’t mean I’m going to ignore the fact you’ve been an absolute asshole.” Phil stormed out of the room and made the point of harshly slamming the door behind him, making Dan wince. 

Everything was a mess. Any sort of progress that he had managed to make with Phil came to nothing, their friendship was in tatters. 

Dan could only lay there in Phil's bed, staring blankly up at the ceiling and being fully aware of the mistake he had made. In a way, he was glad that Phil had stopped him and reluctantly realised that he _had_ rushed into things. 

_“You want me to turn you…today?” Amanda ran a hand through her red locks, processing Dan’s request. “You know I can't do that, Phil will completely lose it.”_

_“I know he agreed to turning me, but I don't think he will go through with it, it needs to be you.” Dan sighed, leaning back into the sofa._

_“I support the idea of turning you, but are you prepared for the consequences? This could destroy him, betraying him in this way.” A worried expression crossed Amanda’s face as she started to comprehend the potentially disastrous outcome._

_Gulping, Dan paused for a moment and reflected on his thoughts. “I’m sure, this is what I want.”_

_“I can’t believe I’m fucking agreeing this, but fine, I’ll turn you.”_

A light knocking on the bedroom door pulled Dan back down to reality as he meekly whispered, “Come in.” 

Stood in the door frame was a very concerned looking Amanda, clutching a glass of water and a couple of tablets.

“Here,” She held her hand out to Dan as she strode towards his bed. “Iron supplements, you’re gonna need them after all of that.” A slightly forced chuckle escaped her mouth as she tried to keep the mood light.

As Dan thanked Amanda and swallowed the pills, he couldn’t help but notice the faint purple mark on the right side of her face.

“What happened there?” Dan motioned to her right cheek.

Amanda shuffled uncomfortably on the spot. “Well… Phil kinda punched me.”

“Punched you?”

“Not out of anger or anything,” She quickly reassured. “But when a vampire starts feeding it can be hard to stop them…”

“So Phil punched you in the face to you off me?”

“Pretty much,” Amanda rushed to change the subject, “How are _you_ feeling though?” She perched on the end of the bed and placed a comforting hand on Dan’s. To say the least, he was shocked at her sudden signs of affection. There was often a distance between the pair so Amanda showing concern for him was a surprise.

“Pretty shit if I’m quite honest. Plus Phil screaming his head off at me didn’t help.” Dan mumbled while fiddling with the duvet in his hand.

“Yeah, I heard everything from outside,” A small lopsided grin crept onto Amanda’s face. “If it makes you feel any better, I got it ten times worse from him. He claimed I was the one with the ‘responsibility’ in the situation and that you weren't thinking straight.”

“I’m sorry…for getting us into this mess, its my fault really,” Dan suddenly felt a wave of guilt. Amanda had taken most of the blame, but it was his idea in the first place. “I could try and talk to him…”

Amanda weakly shook her head, interrupting Dan. “It’s no use. He’s in a right mood and we’re best off just leaving him alone for a bit, let him calm down.” Heading towards the door, Amanda paused for a moment and turned towards Dan. “You probably need some rest, but I just want to let you know… I’m sorry too, I shouldn't have agreed to this.”

Dan didn't respond and just stared blankly at the door, too emotionally worn out to move. Everything was going so well, and then _this_ had to happen. 

"I'm such a fucking idiot," Dan muttered as he pulled the duvet over his head, sliding further down into the bed. Falling back into a slumber, he didn't notice the warm tears that appeared in the corners of his eyes.

~

The concept of time was completely skewed for Dan when he awoke. He had no idea what day it was, no idea how long he had been in bed and no idea how long ago _it_ happened. But, nature calls and Dan groaned as he started to move his body out of bed. He was still incredibly fragile with the whole room spinning as soon as his feet touched the ground. There was barely enough energy in his body to drag his feet across the soft carpet to the door at the other side of the room. 

After finishing his business in the bathroom, Dan started to make the trek back to the bedroom.

“So Sleeping Beauty has finally woken up then…” Phil piped up from the sofa, his attention turned away from Dan and focused into a book.

“Oh fuck off Phil,” Dan sneered, his gaze boring into the back of Phil’s head.

Phil slammed his book down next to him and stood up to face Dan. “I’ve let you stay here and recover and you’ve been _nothing_ but rude to me.”

“I’m sick of arguing! I feel like shit so just let me be!” Dan was getting frustrated again. He was prepared to apologise to Phil, but he was just making it difficult for himself.

“Well maybe you should have thought about that before you tried to fucking kill yourself!” Phil shouted, throwing his arms up into the air. “You keep trying to play the victim but you brought this onto yourself!” 

“Well I’m sorry that I didn't realise that I’m not allowed to think for myself, you know…”

"That's not the fucking point Dan!”

“Don't interrupt me!” Dan said through gritted teeth. It felt as if they had returned to were they were after their reunion, back to being pissed at each other.

“Why don't you just fuck off back to London! I know you've been wanting to leave so here's your chance!”

Dan’s jaw dropped slightly at the suggestion, but he quickly regained as much composure he had left. “Fine! I will go back to London! I’ve always hated Manchester, I’ll be glad to be gone.”

As Dan stormed off to the bedroom to grab his things, Phil shouted through the door. “Good! But don't expect to come running back to us, we won't be here anymore, we never stay in any place for too long!”

“So where will you run off to next then eh? Being a coward and go into hiding?”

Phil burst through the door, resting his clenched fist on it. “Well I don't know, it doesn't concern you though!”

With his belongings in his hands, Dan made his way to the front door, rage flowing through him. Phil didn't even bother to say goodbye as Dan slammed the door behind him.

In the corridor leading out of the building, Dan quite literally bumped into Amanda.

“Shit, sorry,” Dan muttered as his elbow collided with the red head’s.

“Dan? Where are you going?”

“Back to London,” He sighed

“But, why? Are you well enough yet?” Amanda enquired, the concern clear on her face.

“I just…” Dan started to choke up, his emotions catching up with him. “I need to leave, I can't take it anymore.”

“Shhh, it's ok,” She whispered, pulling him into a tight hug. “Just promise to take care of yourself.”

“God you sound like my mum,” Dan chuckled softly as he pulled away. “But I will.”

“You promise?”

“I _promise_.”

With one last smile in Amanda’s direction, Dan turned his back on Phil and any hope of reconciliation between the pair.

~

The train journey back to London forced Dan to reflect on the events of the past few weeks. It almost felt as if every that had happened was a dream, that it wasn't real. The boyfriend that he thought was dead was actually alive, lying to him for the past four years. All the grief and tragedy that he had experienced almost felt like that it had gone to waste, that it was pointless. As much as he had thought that he had forgiven Phil, the underlying resentment had resurfaced all because of Dan’s stupid mistake.

The train’s arrival at London Victoria could not have come sooner for Dan. He was glad to finally be home and even try and bring a sense of normality back to his life. He knew he would never be able to forget about Phil, but he knew he would have to live his life without him again.

~

After dumping his bags back at his flat, Dan found himself on the way to the cemetery where Phil was ‘buried’. Whenever he was feeling low or lonely, that was the first place he headed to. He gained some sort of feeling of comfort, thinking that he was connected with Phil. But those were all lies. Phil was never there, he was off around the world with Amanda and not in a coffin in the middle of London.

Dan stood staring at the gravestone, his feelings changed since his last visit. He came the day before he left for Manchester meaning the flowers left there had long wilted away and died. 

"Daniel! I haven't seen you in a while,” A familiar voice brought Dan out of his thoughts, bringing a small smile to his face.

“Mrs Wallace! It’s good to see you again!” Dan turned around to face the elderly lady standing in front of him, mirroring his grin.

“I was going to replace those flowers for Phil, but I forgot, sorry dear,” Mrs Wallace sighed.

“Honestly, it’s fine, thank you for the thought.”

Mrs Wallace was a huge support for Dan when Phil ‘died’. Her husband David had died shortly before and his grave was adjacent to Phil’s. As they were both going through similar types of grief, they bonded over losing their partners at the same time. It was almost as if she were an adopted grandmother to Dan as he often found himself at her house drinking cups of tea during particularly bad times. But it worked well both ways as the isolated lady enjoyed having Dan’s company.

“Mrs Wallace, what would you do if you could see David again?” Dan mused, not letting Mrs Wallace know how much truth was behind the question.

“Well, I don’t know…” Mrs Wallace pondered on the statement for a moment. “Tell him I love him and how much I’ve missed him I suppose. Oh, and make him a Sunday roast like he always enjoyed!” Dan chuckled at the comment having already experienced one of her delightful roasts. “But it's all just wishful thinking though, isn't it darling.”

"Yeah, I suppose it is…”

~

Dan found himself back in Lester’s bookshop the next day, considering he had been neglecting it for the past few weeks.

“Honestly Dan,” One of the employees, Louise sighed. “I’ve basically been holding up the fort by myself, it was a nightmare getting childcare for Darcy! I expect a decent bonus at the end of the month!”

“Yes, yes!” Dan said whilst rearranging some books on a display. “Oh, what was that book that guy wanted earlier, I’ll see if we have it at the back.”

“I can’t quite remember the name…” Louise thought for a moment. “I think the author was called Robin Talley if that helps.”

“Well it doesn’t really,” Dan called out from the store room as he started rummaging through piles of unorganised books. 

The ringing of the bell indicated that a customer had entered the shop. A rather tall man walked through the door with broad shoulders and toned arms. Of course, Louise was immediately attracted to the customer and rushed to his aid.

“Good morning!” She chirped from behind the counter. “Welcome to Lester’s bookshop, can I help you with anything?”

“No thank you, I’m just browsing,” The man responded with a faint American accent.

For some reason, the presence of the man made Dan uncomfortable, but he just couldn’t place why. He took a peak at his appearance, just for reassurance. But what he saw was not at all reassuring. From the corners of his mouth, were two sharp teeth slightly poking out. To the ignorant, these were not anything noticeable, but Dan knew what vampire fangs looked like.

“It’s probably nothing, you’re just paranoid,” Dan muttered to himself.

“So, what’s your name then?” It was obvious that Louise was in a flirty mood, she often was with good looking customers.

“Elijah, and what’s a pretty lady like you called?” Louise blushed and giggled at the comment.

Dan’s blood ran cold as soon as he heard the name.

 _No_.

 _It can’t be him_.

He gulped as he placed the book down that he was flicking through, panic starting to set in.

“Actually, I was wondering if Dan was working here today?” Elijah asked, with a slight smirk on his face. “We’re old school friends and I would love to catch up with him.”

“Oh yes! He’s just round the back, I’ll go get him!” To Louise’s surprise, Dan was not in the store room. He had bolted out of the back door that lead to an alleyway as soon as he heard his name.

He was now running, running for his life. He frantically dialled Phil’s number, but he wouldn’t respond.

“For fuck’s sake Phil! It’s Elijah! He’s found me so please pick up your fucking phone!” Dan desperately shouted down the phone, praying that Phil would hear his message.

As he entered the main streets of London, Dan had no idea what to do. Did Elijah know where he lived? Was it too risky to go back home?

With no help from Phil, Dan needed to think of a plan. Quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't I just love a cliffhanger…
> 
> I'm so fucking sorry for how long this chapter took omg. I had exams and lack of motivation etc etc BUT ITS FINALLY HERE!
> 
> Also, I've started my pbb fic which is v exciting so look forward to that sometime in October/November!
> 
> Ugh I really want to be adopted by Mrs Wallace.
> 
> Find me on tumblr [@serenehowell](serenehowell.tumblr.com)


End file.
